The Free Press

In a heart-beat

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 10:31:00 +0000

American cousins over at MIT have been working on a new method of visualising small movements through exaggeration. Fairly cool stuff. The Free Press is currently working on a similar technique to exaggerate small appendages.

7 Volunteering opportunities

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 15:13:10 +0000

Aside from the fact that volunteering will not only yield countless benefits for the people you’re volunteering for and help you sleep easier at night, it’s also a good opportunity to capitalise on free accommodation and board whilst travelling. And what’s better than a free lunch? Even if you are eating it with blistered hands…

WWOOF (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms)

Wendell Berry once said that “Our model citizen is a sophisticate who before puberty understands how to produce a baby, but who at the age of thirty will not know how to produce a potato.” If you would not like to have the second part of this statement apply to you then WWOOF-ing is your answer. Board and lodging is offered in return for a day’s work on any farm of your choosing.

You can go for any stretch of time between a week and several years, which makes the WWOOF option viable for anyone, especially when you consider that they have thousands of hosts in over 53 countries.

Turtle teams, Worldwide

There are thousands of small groups around the globe that aim to preserve the populations of threatened sea turtles. Most teams base themselves around one or two nesting sites and even appreciate just one nights help. There is often a cost for accommodation that ranges greatly, depending on the quality of where you’re staying, but some offer extremely low cost housing in return for long-term volunteering (though typically very basic), such as Playa Las Tortugas in Mexico. However, if you fancy killing two-birds with stone, why not coincide your lads/gyals trip to Zante with sometime spent with the island’s own endangered sea turtle population.

Search for groups at the tourist office of any exotic beach and help an endangered species. More information can be found here; www.seaturtles.org and www.conserveturtles.org.

Conservation Volunteers, Australia and New Zealand

www.conservationvolunteers.com.au – Various short-term projects In Australia and New Zealand are available where you’ll be able to work in teams, protecting habitats and promoting ecotourism.

Projects that include overnight stays, meals, and lodging are typically provided at approximately AUS$40 per night for shorter stays, and starting from AUS$208 for week-long projects. The type of accommodations can vary widely from campsites to bunkhouses. UK-based TCV (The Conservation Volunteers) offers programs for EU residents ranging from no-cost day trips to pricier week-long International Conservation Holidays.

Appalachian Trail Conservancy South America

www.appalachiantrail.org – Over 2,000 miles long and with just as many endangered or threatened species, the Appalachian Trail has plenty of space for more volunteers. Work includes help with trail building and maintenance and in return you will receive food and very basic accommodation.

Help Exchange, Worldwide

www.helpx.net – A website that lists worldwide hosts who are looking for an extra pair of hands, whether it be in their farm or garden, working in schools or on religious projects, building houses or community centers, or simply helping a family take the kids to school.

A small membership fee is required to access host details, but board and lodging is provided in exchange for your work.

United Nations Volunteers, Worldwide

www.unv.org – From healthcare and economic development to assisting after natural disasters, the UN offers positions for those that are dedicated to making a difference abroad.

While many positions are open only to experienced professionals, the UN has links to hundreds of international NGOs that are looking for help in similar fields on a less formal basis.

Kibbutz Volunteer, Israel

www.kibbutzvolunteer.com – An area that is rarely out of the news, Israel is a land of tight communities but complicated politics.

Volunteering here will provide you with an opportunity to experience what a socialist community is really like. The region also serves as a good base camp for exploring the rest of the Middle East. You might want to be careful, however, as travelling to many of the countries surrounding Israel with an Israeli stamp in your passport will arouse suspicion. So get your cover story sorted, you sneaky Jew spy, you.

Oli Dugmore

@olidugmore

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Advice from movies

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 17:42:57 +0000

Millions of pounds, fast cars, big houses. 3 things that are almost synonymous with film stars. So why not take some of the advice that they spout whilst at work, and to make things even easier for you, The Free Press has compiled a handy list for you.

“The dude abides.” – Jeffrey Lebowski – The Big Lebowski

“If you can dodge traffic you can dodge a ball.” – Patches O’Houlihan - Dodgeball

“People should not be afraid of governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.” – V – V For Vendetta

“Named must your fear be before face it you can.” – Yoda – The Empire Strikes Back

“Funerals are insane, the chicks are so horny, it’s not even fair, it’s like fishing with dynamite.” – Chazz Reinhold – Wedding Crashers

“You ask how to fight an idea. I’ll tell you how. With another idea.” – Messala – Ben-Hur

“If you’re good at something, never do it for free.” – The Joker – The Dark Knight

“And it’d better be perfect or I’m gonna call my dad!” – Yellow Bastard – Sin City

“A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” – Willy Wonka – Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

“Fact can be so misleading, where rumours, true or false, are often revealing.” – Col. Hans Landa – Inglorious Basterds

“Just because you are a character doesn’t mean that you have character.” – Winston Wolfe – Pulp Fiction

“You don’t want to get laid, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to talk to them.” – Danny McGavin – Colors

“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” – Man In Black – The Princess Bride.

“For Frodo.” – Aragorn – The Return of the King

Oli Dugmore

@olidugmore

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Thank you Albert.

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 16:58:07 +0000

Thank you Albert.

"Wine is fine, but whisky is quicker."

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 16:46:24 +0000

“Wine is fine, but whisky is quicker.”

Few things to keep you chirpy.

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 13:14:36 +0000

Few things to keep you chirpy.

‘I don’t believe in coincidence.’

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 12:12:00 +0000

For any would-be ITV detectives out there, prepare to be amazed. I’ve found the coincidence to end all coincidences. On a side note, I did a quick Google on ‘coincidence’ whilst doing some research for this article and discovered that Einstein once said “Coincidence is God’s way of staying anonymous”. Whilst a very poignant and interesting statement, I find it hard to believe that God has anything to do with what I’m going to detail to you.

Once upon a time there lived a nice little man named Edgar Allan-Poe, except there was nothing nice or little about Mr. Poe. In fact, he was a rather terrifying man who specialised in writing macabre horror. Never the less, once upon a time, around about 1838, Mr. Poe decided to write a fairy tale about cannibalism. The book, titled The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket, was based upon a fairly common premise; Poe claimed that the events he described were based upon a true story. This was only a half-truth as the real life events simply had not happened yet.

A scene within The Narrative takes us to a whaling ship, lost at sea. The four men aboard the boat run out of food, and take it upon themselves to draw lots in order to see who it was that would be eaten. The short straw is drawn by the young cabin boy Richard Parker, bless him.

Anyway, 46 years later and a vessel named the Mignonette is involved in a sea-disaster that becomes infamous for the legal consequences that came about as a result of the gruesome events that occurred on board, specifically the way the men drew lots and decided to eat their cabin boy… Richard Parker.

Enjoy the rest of your hungover Saturday.

Oli Dugmore

@olidugmore

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Stuff that's happening in science, Particle 1.

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 14:24:04 +0000

Hello. I like science. Please don’t leave. Here’s some of the more interesting stuff that’s been happening in science. Use it to win pub quizzes or pick up scientifically-minded attractive people (THEY EXIST I SWEAR).

We have a cure for HIV/AIDS! Sorta. At a science conference it’s been revealed that a baby born with HIV and treated straight away with standard drugs has been found to be HIV-free. There are some problems though. Until this gets published in a reputed journal its nothing to get excited about because until then there’s no hard evidence. Also, this would appear to only work for extremely young children with excellent medical care. This accounts for only very few of the estimated 100 million people infected with HIV worldwide, many in the world’s poorest areas. That’s a bit gloomy so here’s a picture of a shark/horse hybrid. 100% real folks. http://deadfix.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Shark-Horse.jpg

More at this address.

Coincidentally, It’s been discovered that over 100 million sharks are being killed annually – the normal kind without legs. This is especially bad because sharks reproduce late in life. The increased demand for shark fin soup in Chinese communities is one of the greatest causes of this. Remember all that stuff about cycles within ecosystems and stuff? It’s not going to be long before sharks vanish at this rate and this will disrupt the oceans totally. So, China, stick to something less mental, like mushrooms.

More at this address.

DNA has been utilised as a storage molecule for electronic data. Apparently the idea got cooked up in a pub by some guys wondering how they were going to store all the data their research group was churning out. Basically, DNA is the perfect storage unit. There’s something in evolutionary biology called Orgel’s 2^nd rule – “Evolution is cleverer than you are”. Basically, living things are perfectly adapted to their role. This includes DNA. For example, you could store the contents of half a million DVDs in a gram of DNA. DNA has a storage density of about 2.2 petabytes per gram, that’s about three million times more than the latest in hard drive technology. This means that, if the technology is developed properly, in time it may be possible for consumers and businesses to access virtually unlimited data storage. See how great science is? Only problem is it’s super duper expensive and really slow right now. But your great great great granddaughter is pretty fine in terms of electronic storage.

More at this address.

It might sound like something from Frankenstein, but scientists have succeeded in “networking” two rats together. By directly linking two rat brains with cables, it’s been shown that electrical impulses can be transmitted and received. Essentially, this means the two brains can communicate directly with each other. This was proven by getting the rats to complete cooperative tasks for food rewards. This basically proves that the old sci-fi thing about uploading and downloading stuff from people’s heads may be possible.

More at this address.

Tom Naughton

@t_naughton

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visualgraphic: British Tits

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 13:23:23 +0000

visualgraphic:

British Tits

Been a fan of Indie House ever since it was hipster. If you...

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 10:42:00 +0000

Been a fan of Indie House ever since it was hipster.

If you want to listen to 9 1/2 hours of Indie House, go here!

"Do you wanna risk it? For a Bourbon biscuit. Do no heroine, do no crack. Open up another, bourbon..."

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 17:58:32 +0000

“Do you wanna risk it? For a Bourbon biscuit. Do no heroine, do no crack. Open up another, bourbon pack. Bourbon biscuit. Bourbon biscuit.”

- The Lizard King

Time to sort your life out..

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 12:36:00 +0000

Do you feel like you’re not achieving your life goals? Stuck in a relationship you don’t want to be in? Realised that you don’t have any friends? Before opting for suicide why not skim over The Free Press’ self-improvement tips for men and women. If that doesn’t work then by all means go and buy a hosepipe and ask your dad if you can borrow his garage.

Men

Climb Everest – Climbing up things makes you feel awesome, of this there is no doubt. Regardless of your own climbing experience, you may have seen Rocky Balboa’s face of elation as he ascended those snow covered steps or King-Kong’s roar of triumph at the top of The Empire State Building. If that is the full extent of your vertical travel knowledge then maybe start off with something small, like a tree, before taking on a challenge that will likely kill you. Next up, a lamppost. Whilst being an important phase in your transformation to climbing glory this is also an important life skill. How else will you find your friends in a busy street or escape from brain-hungry zombies? After these two phases have been mastered you’re pretty much ready for Everest, have fun.

Date a cheerleader – Preferably an American one, because you’re already scoring points with your fine-ass English accent. Outside of the obvious benefits to dating a cheerleader; good looks, flexibility, low IQ, there are other important factors to consider. But, if we’re honest, we don’t need to consider the, because those 3 alone are probably enough. You’ve just got to do a few things right and then the world is your oyster. First of all, be a man. Plan, be decisive, lead. They like that kind of thing. Second, do not get (that) drunk. By all means, share some wine, but the moment you think it’s a good idea to start making honking noises whilst trying to touch her breasts you should get the bill ASAP. If you managed to avoid this situation then great, call her the next day. This is not the 18^th Century; you do not need to use a carrier pigeon to contact her. Mobile phones mean that not getting in touch immediately after is basically inexcusable. First date done, the rest is on your broad shoulders, you handsome manly man you.

Beat an eating challenge – This is fairly self-explanatory. Sit down, eat a lot of food, and feel mighty. Well there might be a day or so’s gap between the eating and the feeling but regardless, you’ll feel good. Ideally get a t-shirt for your efforts so all your compadres are aware of your gluttony. Even better, get your money back on completion of the afore-mentioned challenge, nothing better than a free lunch.

Women

Climb Everest – The self-inspiring qualities of climbing Everest are not sexist. See the related paragraph above.

Conquer your love of Justin Bieber – However difficult this might be, it’s got to be done girls. Irrational and just downright disgusting, liking little old Justin is just inexcusable, and not conducive to good mental health. Stop dreaming about him. Stop thinking about him. Stop saying his name three times in a dark room and hoping he’ll appear. STOP BELIEBING.

Replace all your underwear with the candy equivalent – What seems like a fairly bad idea on the face of it probably is a really bad idea. What have you got to lose aside from £4.99 per pair of knickers and all your dignity? Feel sexy whilst having the convenience of an easily accessible snack at all times. I can’t think of anything better.

Oli Dugmore

@olidugmore

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"A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I..."

Sat, 02 Mar 2013 19:19:15 +0000

““A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.””

- Winston Churchill

Kali Ma Music Review ~ Wet Nuns

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:01:42 +0000

With the Grammy success of polished Ohio rock duo, The Black Keys, it would appear the future of guitar music may be inspired by the bluesy Louisiana bayou. You can hardly compare New Orleans with Sheffield, but Wet Nuns have channelled a soulful groove into their rifftastic fuzzy, brash Queens of The Stone Age/Sabbath guitar ‘n’ drums sound regardless.

Four tracks of psychedelic/stoner influenced balls-out rock greet you here, there’s no filler to be found. The opener, Broken Teeth, sets the tone for the rest of the record. Expect whiskey-matured gravelly vocals and songs about death, loose morals and even looser women. My favourite of the tracks is the last one, Laura. A humorous song detailing a woman, she’s “not too pretty and she’s not a good age” but because she’s on a stage rocking out it’s difficult not to wonder it would be like to be her guitar (he’s talking about sex).

The strangest thing about the record is its inability to sound quiet and the dark influence it exerts on you to turn it up LOUD. I think I’m possessed. If you can avoid headbanging (or at least headbobbing for the more conservative among you), seek medical attention. Seriously though, the production is really excellent. The lo-fi sound that characterises Wet Nuns has been captured extremely well. However, it can’t compare to their live shows. I saw them in Leamington last year and cannot wait for a repeat. With SXSW dates booked, a full UK tour and a festival of their own design to boot (DETESTIVAL), Wet Nuns will be making their way to a town near you. Get off your ass and go see them, even if it’s just for their beards. They’re reet good.

4.5/5 - JUST LISTEN TO IT

Broken Teeth is OUT NOW

Vinyl available from http://www.wetnunssweetmerch.bigcartel.com

Tour info - http://www.facebook.com/events/404640462958322/?ref=22

Tom Naughton

@t_naughton

Kali Ma Music Review ~ FIDLAR

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 17:50:00 +0000

LA’s FIDLAR are currently putting out some of the best Descendents/Blink182/Queers style puerile pop-punk. As you might expect, a lot of their songs dwell on getting drunk/high, surfing and girls. What make them unique are the glimpses of their nihilistic world view in the face of this hedonism; they’re aware of the futility and pointlessness of their actions.

FIDLAR stands for “Fuck it dog, life’s a risk” - an LA skater mantra. It’s basically a less cringey YOLO - a slap in the face to logic, reason and self-preservation. But don’t let that put you off. With the release of their debut full length, FIDLAR get as mature as bands of their type are allowed to be. Yeah, there’s songs like Max Can’t Surf that don’t really make sense and sound like they’ve been written while monged out of their minds. But single Cheap Beer, in addition to having a Surfin’ Bird vibe during the intro, has a remarkable social message to it – drinking fancy ale doesn’t make you any better or smarter than us, it just means you paid more to have a good time. The record never ceases to be enjoyable. It’s got hooks galore. This is an album for those who are young, broke and engaged in the selfish, often self-destructive pursuit of personal enjoyment.

In my opinion, the album versions of some songs lack the bite and impact of previously recorded versions – such as Wake, Bake, Skate which was one of my favourite FIDLAR songs. I’m also at times concerned that the whole thing becomes a bit fabricated. Maybe that’s because I don’t live the lives of FIDLAR. I like to party, but there gets to a point where I’d like a crumpet and a nap. Angsty, bitter ballad Whore slows the pace of the record and shows FIDLAR are capable of more.

It’s clear that FIDLAR enjoy their lifestyles and the music they make and it’s difficult not to join them in that positivity. I think a part of their appeal of their sound is it’s the music we all used to want to make when we were fourteen before we all got jaded and decided to become dentists or whatever it was that seemed right. There’s a simple honesty that’s difficult to ignore or dislike. It’s really music that encourages you to truly live, surrounded by friends with a beer in one hand and a woman in the other.

4/5 - Have a bloody listen.

Tom Naughton

@t_naughton

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A few old photos I never saw reason to publish from the student...

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 14:11:11 +0000

A few old photos I never saw reason to publish from the student marches in November 2010.

The day the middle class sixth formers went to complain.

Man falls asleep in library

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 12:45:00 +0000

Before you skim over this article on account of its quite frankly horrendous headline, please be aware of two things. 1. This story is interesting. 2. This headline did not win the bi-weekly Roger Federer award for ‘Dullest Headline’, it wasn’t even nominated.

As any student will tell you, probably with a great deal of conviction, falling asleep in a library is generally neither difficult nor news worthy. However, if the person doing the sleeping is homeless, and opts to get his 40 winks within the 24 hour card-access library of St. John’s College Cambridge, well then he deserves a fucking medal.

On Wednesday it was revealed that this was indeed the case, and the man in question was removed by the college’s porters. How the student body and various faculties of a college whose alumni include 6 prime ministers and 3 Catholic saints were unable to identify the man in question confounds me. Particularly when it is being reported that his subterfuge lasted a period of several weeks.

In my opinion, a man who is capable of deceiving the country’s most intelligent people but instead opts to spend his life drinking frosty jacks and stealing Freddos should be canonised himself. At very least he could be a Life Coach.

Oli Dugmore

@olidugmore

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ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:28:51 +0000

A robot in a purple top hat riding a T-rex called George. But Georges wellington boots are too small for his face. (All of this takes place in space)

I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story.

Sun, 24 Feb 2013 21:29:00 +0000

There was a time. A time when only men could write the news. A time when journalistic values were upheld regardless of the consequences; truth, integrity and alcoholism. Sadly, this is no longer the case. Times have changed. We now live in an era of technological marvels, the advent of the steam engine and the telegram means that any mug can report the latest colonial expansion in Africa (oh, how times have changed). What with the wizardry of “TubeYou” even women now have a forum for their opinions.

Well no need to worry anymore. The Free Press is back. Baby. ‘Impossible’ I hear, “It can’t be done!’ You shout. You ask ‘What about the 467 separate cases of drunk and disorderly behavior, sexual harassment and identity fraud that were filed against you the last The Free Press met? Or the allegations that Guy Hetherington is wanted for crimes against humanity in Uganda?’ We answer; ‘Technicalities’.

In the dimly lit, smokey rooms, located at the top of cloud-caressing buildings, in the most exotic of cities (Leeds, Cardiff, York), a decision was made. And now the boys are back in town. Make no mistake; there will be severe consequences, not to mention Guy’s incarceration by the International Court of Justice. But quite frankly, ever since Twitter got an oestrogen booster, someone has to break the super-injuctions.

Are we going to go all Blues Brothers 2000 on you? Hell no. This is Godfather II, but Sonny isn’t dead and he’s still kicking nuts and smashing sluts like its going out of fashion. As original as Mel Gibson’s take on ‘The Life of Brian”, as contagious as the Harlem Shake in a Parkinson’s ward. The Free Press is coming to a university near you.

P.S. We’re already on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

Oli Dugmore

@olidugmore

Photo

Sat, 09 Feb 2013 18:39:33 +0000